I hate when I let a simple task languish on my to-do list for months, or even years. Yet I’ve done it more times than I can count. These tasks usually aren’t life-and-death important. Others might tell me not to worry about it. I think that’s why it bothers me so much. My failure to check off such trivial tasks becomes a symbol of all my frustrations with ADHD.
Often, though, the actual problem is simple. I just need to take a moment to sit down and troubleshoot the process. Stop berating myself. If this describes you, too, give yourself a break. Adopt a problem-solving approach. Chances are, you aren’t terminally incompetent and a small tweak to your system will get things moving.
If you’re new to this kind of ADHD troubleshooting, try taking a look at your to-do list through the lens of these three major roadblocks.
You’re missing a necessary resource.
Sometimes we add an item to our list because we don’t want to forget it, but we aren’t actually prepared to do it yet. For example, imagine you want to hang a picture above your couch. You add “hang picture above couch” to your to-do list.
Progress, right? Except your husband moved the picture hanging supplies from their usual spot. Now you can’t find them. You also have that fancy exposed brick wall behind the couch. It might require special hardware to hang the picture securely.
If you’ve organized your to-list by context, you’re looking at “hang picture above couch” when you have time to complete a job or two around the house. And guess what? No one else is home. That’s why it seemed like a good time to get stuff done around the house. But now you need to ask your husband about the supplies and also how he hung the other pictures on the brick wall. So you pick something else from your around-the-house list and do that instead.
Later, you trip over the picture leaning against the garage wall for the twentieth time. You berate yourself for the fact that it’s still there six months after you got it framed, and you sink into a pit of rage and loathing.
Whoa, there. If a resource or decision blocks you from doing the thing, you will not do the thing. Period. That’s because you aren’t looking at a single task, you’re looking at a project. Which leads me to…
Your task is actually a project.
I base my definitions of tasks and projects on the Getting Things Done system. A task (or next action, in GTD parlance) is a single action you can do immediately. If the task requires more than one discrete action, it’s a project. This distinction is especially critical for people with ADHD. Our weak working memory typically only allows us to hold one thing in mind at once.
Many people hesitate to call something like hanging a picture a project. We want it to sound simple. People with ADHD can feel a little sketchy about projects. But hanging the picture requires us to complete several subtasks:
- Locate the supplies to hang the picture.
- Measure the wall and mark where we need to install the picture hook.
- Ask someone else what kind of tools or hardware we need to hang a large picture on a brick wall.
- In the case of my house, which is a townhouse, determine a good time to drill a hole in our shared brick wall when I won’t wake up or otherwise tick off my neighbors.
Each step in this process demands different people, tools, and decisions. The best time to hammer or drill into a shared townhouse wall may not be a time when we can ask our spouse to help us find a misplaced tape measure. And many ADHDers struggle with working memory deficits. Our brains can’t read “hang picture” on our to-do list and conceptualize the whole process outlined above.
If a task has sat on your list undone for too long, ask yourself: is it really just one task? Or have you put it off because it’s actually a few smaller tasks rolled into one? If that’s the case, you need to break it out into a project.
No one cares.
ADHDers are notorious for resisting any tedious work, but we struggle especially hard with tasks that feel like they don’t matter. Most of us have productivity buttons that will motivate us:
- Stakes: as in, a Super Bad Thing will happen if we don’t do this task, so we’d better do it because Super Bad Thing gives us scary anxiety dreams.
- Deadlines: even if we leave it until the day before it’s due, an external deadline can light a fire under us.
- Appeal: we enjoy the task and will put off other, less-appealing tasks in order to do it right away.
When we don’t see anything at stake, the deadline feels far away, and the task itself lacks any kind of appeal or fun factor, we probably won’t do it. Plain and simple.
Tasks in this category can haunt ADHDers for months or even years. They’re the little things others tell us we “just have to do.” And you can find strategies to try. You can insert external accountability by asking for a deadline, sequester yourself in a coffee shop or library, or block out time on your calendar to get the task done. Maybe you’ll succeed, maybe you won’t.
Before you waste energy trying to wrangle your brain, ask yourself: what will happen if this task never gets done? You might want it to get done, but how much does it need to get done? If it’s not critical, be bold. Accept reality. Delete it and move on.
Stop letting your to-do list shame and intimidate you.
You may resist deleting incomplete tasks from your list or creating projects for mundanities like hanging a new picture on the wall. It hurts to admit we’ll never actually do a thing we set out to do. We feel embarrassed when we need to create entire infrastructures for tasks others seem to complete with very little effort. But we know the alternative all too well: a to-do list that mocks us with its very existence.
A brief note about project management
If you’re new to the idea of Getting Things Done or you haven’t read my book Order from Chaos, you may be wondering how to manage projects separate from your main to-do list. I’m working on an ADHD-friendly app to guide you through this. The iOS version is currently in beta. If you’re on Android, I have previously used Toodledo to manage my tasks. It can store individual notes and tasks within folders (aka projects) and sort them by context to help your list feel more relevant.
You can always use physical folders with old-fashioned notes inside. It’s all up to you. Whatever you choose, it should feel right for you and allow you to list tasks individually or within project folders. You’ll also want to sort based on what you can (or want to) do right now. I use context categories like office, computer, phone, house, etc. to organize my list.
ADHD can make our to-do lists feel like a place where tasks go to die. I’ve spoken to a lot of folks who don’t even want to use a to-do list. Every time they add something to it, they’re reminded that they probably won’t complete the task. But the truth is, every single task that’s lingered on your list for too long has a reason for getting stuck there.
If you’re using a to-do list regularly and checking some items off but not others, it’s time to take a look at why. Often the answer is simple: the task either doesn’t matter, or it includes too many pieces for our brains to handle all at once. Take a minute to look for these common issues. You might be surprised by what you can do.
Hey there! Are you enjoying The ADHD Homestead?
Here's the thing: I don't like ads. I don't want to sell your attention to an advertising service run by the world's biggest data mining company. I also value my integrity and my readers' trust above all, which means I accept very few sponsorships/partnerships.
So I'm asking for your support directly. For the cost of one cup of coffee, you can help keep this site unbiased and ad-free.
Below you will find two buttons. The first lets you join our crew of Patreon pals and pledge monthly support for my work. Patrons also have access to my Audioblogs podcast. The second takes you to a simple donation page to pledge one-time or recurring support for The ADHD Homestead, no frills, no strings. Do whichever feels best for you!
