“Open here” gets me every time | Jaclyn ☕️ The ADHD Homestead on Instagram
The thing is, I remember thinking when I opened this: “wow, they sure don’t make this easy!” My husband always tells me when something feels unreasonably difficult, I should pause and reassess. Make sure I haven’t blown past an important detail.
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It’s good advice. I’m sure it would help me a lot, if I ever remembered to follow it 😂
#158 The Case of the Missing Hit | Reply All Podcast
This is a purely fun share for all my friends out there who are prone to hyperfocus and obsession. I personally found this podcast episode so exciting, I needed some time afterward to calm down.
Not only do I love music, I totally get the experience shared here: that feeling of spiraling down a rabbit hole no one else understands. Having everyone around me wonder why some weird tangent has suddenly become the most important task in my life. Trying to explain no, it’s not even that important, I know it’s not that important, but I won’t be able to think about anything else until I resolve it.
This story indulges that impulse so hard, and I was hanging on every twist and turn.
What Does Adult ADHD Look Like? It Depends On the Individual! | Gina Pera’s ADHD Roller Coaster
This has been bugging me lately. A lot of people are building an online platform based on a celebration of certain ADHD “gifts,” like spontaneity or creativity or other traits. These aren’t necessarily ADHD traits, though — just human ones, which we ADHDers all have in varying degrees.
My ADHD has caused me plenty of struggles in my life. I don’t dwell on that part, but it’s there. You know when I feel those past struggles most keenly? When someone puts together a delightful meme to remind me of my unique ADHD strengths.
You see, my ADHD most certainly does NOT make me more fun, spontaneous, or creative. Ask anyone who has to live with me on a daily basis: I’m much happier, more fun, and I do my best creative work when my ADHD symptoms are well-managed.
I understand the celebration of “gifts” gives some folks a way to cope with their ADHD. However, please remember we are all unique individuals. What feels empowering to you may well feel completely invalidating and demoralizing to someone else. And while ADHD may affect how you present different traits to the world, most of those traits belong to you, not your ADHD.
We are all doing the best we can | Jackson Hole News & Guide
This wisdom is especially necessary for parents of young ADHDers. It’s so easy to slip into negative assumptions like the author describes here:
“The combination of our children’s challenging behaviors, the expectations we have of them (whether realistic or not) and our busy lives can leave a bad taste in our mouths when our kids aren’t doing what we want them to. We tell ourselves stories or develop beliefs: My child is lazy. She never listens. He’s out of control. She can’t get along with her sister. They don’t care. He has no respect. She is manipulative. They are trying to make me mad. And so on.”
When we think in these terms, it’s awfully hard to problem-solve because we’re talking about character flaws. And that makes us feel helpless, angry, and resentful.
I have the best success with my kiddo when I assume he’s doing his best. That he loves me and doesn’t want me to be upset or angry with him. From that angle, I can see more clearly what might be getting in the way.
What It Takes To Make A Marriage Work | Healthy ADHD
I love how open Liz is about how ADHD affects her marriage. Some parts of this made me laugh. Agreeing on a plan of attack, then forgetting everything 24 hours later? I’ve totally done that — more times than I can count — and it drives my husband nuts.
(This is why I write so many things down.)
I also tend to ask him questions and forget the answers. This is especially frustrating when I’m asking a favor. By the fifth time I ask him to take out the trash, he wonders why I didn’t just tell him I needed it done immediately instead of passive-aggressively asking every 20 minutes. At this point I will get confused and tell him I simply forgot I asked the other four times, so please consider this the first request because that is how I intended it 🤣
ADHD sure makes life interesting. I agree wholeheartedly with Liz, though: you need to be transparent with your partner about how ADHD manifests in YOU. Even if they have ADHD, too, their experience will likely be completely different.
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