There are people who think ADHD is a gift. I’m not one of them.
Just today, I read this sentence in a comment thread: “I have reached the conclusion that ADHD persons are are blessing to the world and that having ADHD is a gift rather than a curse.” Not to be judge-y, but I bet this person doesn’t have ADHD. If he does, he’s in a near-delusional state of denial.
That said, I’ve had some time to reflect on my gifts this week. I’ll admit, ADHD isn’t 100% doom and gloom. Lots of us grow up to be emergency room doctors, firefighters, or professional snowboarders. Our lust for high-stress environments leads us to careers our laid-back counterparts would rather avoid.
We have dopamine to thank for this. The neurotransmitter of pleasure, reward, and motivation. I reject the “ADHD is a gift” narrative because dopamine has no conscience. It doesn’t nudge us toward becoming an emergency room doctor rather than a drug addict. It doesn’t care whether we balance our brain chemistry by running marathons or picking cruel fights with our spouse. I imagine it costs society at least as much as it provides in so-called gifts.
But for today, I can appreciate it a little more. Because I’m existing in a time of great inconvenience.
Roughing it with ADHD
Our kitchen renovation is officially underway. Last night, our downstairs looked like this:
Living with me on a normal day isn’t always a treat, but right now, I’m cool.
I prepared for this renovation like crazy, thanks to my flair for crises, over-planning, and roughing it. I’m the person who breaks out in goosebumps before hurricanes and snowstorms. I stockpile canned goods, put the kitchen matches near the stove, charge up the camp lanterns, and try to hide my disappointment when the electricity stays on.
Of course, every ADHD “gift” has a dark side. Mild over-preparation easily tips into hoarding and obsession for some.
But taken in moderation, we folks with ADHD can turn inconvenience into fun. We thrive on novelty. Many of us spent our youths getting into trouble for weird behavior and clowning around. Most people I’ve talked to assume we’ll be surviving on takeout this month. Not so. I happily carried my camp stove to the front porch and ignored the funny looks from neighbors as I cooked dinner. I threw myself into advance food preparation with an enthusiasm I rarely possess for normal dinners. We’re existing in a weird, different, and somewhat extreme situation. It’s not just any old night when I have to make dinner in a normal kitchen. I’m in my element.
A rare note of gratitude
I rarely talk about the upsides of ADHD on this blog. There are enough yahoos doing that on the internet already. I’m not grateful for my ADHD, just like most well-adjusted people wouldn’t be grateful for bipolar disorder. But every once in a while, I encounter a situation that forces me to admit, “hey, I’m actually an asset to this project. My unique combination of traits, some of which are rooted in my ADHD, really bring something to the table.”
People with significant ADHD-related impairments know, I don’t have the opportunity to say this every day. To be able to acknowledge a gift — that’s a gift unto itself. I’m going to try to appreciate it, if only for the duration of my self-induced, kitchen-less hardship.
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Or they have not had ADHD knock them on their butt (more likely do not realize that it was ADHD that knocked them on their butt).
The super power narrative really bugs me. I feel like it discounts the real struggles I face living in a world that was not built for people like me.
Me, too. It can sound all well and good to talk about accepting differences and focusing on the positive, but that minimizes the very real struggle of a lot of people. I’m sure someone who’d lost a loved one to addiction or a preventable car crash wouldn’t want to hear about how ADHD is a gift.
I have to agree. I’ve read that – ADHD is a gift. Yeah, right – only if you don’t have it. ADHD makes everything harder and gives little in return.
I had to laugh about your cooking plans with your kitchen renovation. My husband is a remodeling contractor and we’ve remodeled every house we’ve lived in. Our last kitchen redo was a doozey! The kitchen was HORRIBLE! For a month we lived out of our dining room and I cooked every day. I used microwave, crock pot, rice cooker, George Foreman and a hot plate. I did dishes in the bathtub. Our kitchen redo before that was actually the most complicated. We had the refrigerator in the living room and set up a makeshift kitchen in the garage. I used the small appliances for that one, too, plus the grill. I washed dishes in the laundry sink in the basement. It really wasn’t a big deal at all although we did get tired of going out the front door and into the garage (we were working on the floors). Good luck with the redo. It’ll be worth it in the end.
Thank you! We’re doing the dishes-in-the-bathtub thing, and it does get old 😉
The worst, I think, is having our food prep and storage areas spread around the house, so I’m constantly running between the basement, dining room (where we have the fridge), front porch, backyard, etc. while getting a meal together.
Okay this article and thought comments are absolutely offensive. ADHD is s gift if you channel it right. How about instead of being negative and self loathing you actually look for the advantage that ADHD gives us? I work in a a self employed sales role and while it is definitely hard someyimes, my ADHD is tied to all the strengths that caused me to make almost 6 figures right out of college at age 23. ADHD, when in hyperfocus, enables me to accomplish more in a day than others can in an entire month. It has given me an acute emotional intelligence that allows me to read people and predict their moves, and I can use that to create a desired outcome. Your assumption that only people without ADHD say it is an advantage is evidence of nothing more than your inner weakness.
Hi Anthony. I’m sorry this post hit a negative note for you. I don’t need to prove anything in the life outlook or inner strength departments, but I want to speak up on an important point.
Some of us may thrive with our ADHD, thanks to the right combination of temperament, career, and home life. Some may not, thanks to the same things, and/or a lack of understanding around what ADHD is and isn’t.
Also, ADHD symptoms occur on a spectrum. In my case, ADHD crippled my social skills. I’m highly empathetic. People call me emotionally intelligent. When I was younger, this was concealed under impulsivity and blindness to subtext. I’ve come a long way, but I haven’t forgotten the years of loneliness and conflict it took to get here.
I talk about the upsides of ADHD, even in this post. In the same breath, I also honor the experiences of those who have suffered, or may be suffering now. Those are the folks who I want to read about my experiences and see that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
Sorry I posted that early in the morning, totally an overreaction on my part, though I do think that ADHD channeled properly enables abilities that are far superior to the neurotypical capabilities. Thanks for being gentle in your response to my harshness.