You told me you wanted personal stories from others — especially women — with ADHD. Here’s an essay from Jehn, a woman who has moved from a place from deep fear and shame about her ADHD to a place of acceptance and pride. If you’ve been here a while, you’ll notice her outlook is a bit different than mine. Thanks to Jehn for sharing her story and offering a new perspective.
It’s easy to make ADHD all about the negatives: You’re forgetful. Lazy. Inattentive. Hyperactive. Impulsive.
You can’t focus and you can’t accomplish anything. You have to keep intense to-do lists because otherwise you’ll forget. You skip meals because you can’t even remember if you ate lunch that day. You zone out and can’t concentrate at work.
I used to feel so ashamed of my ADHD that I hid it from everyone. But I not only became comfortable with my diagnosis, I now own it proudly.
Living undercover
I hid my ADHD because I didn’t want it to change how people felt about me. I didn’t want anyone to assume my forgetfulness and inattention meant I couldn’t handle responsibilities.
Depending who you ask, some call ADHD a mental illness or a disability. I feared others seeing me as someone who would never accomplish the things we expect “normal” people to do. I was an A student. I valued my reputation with my peers and my professors. I didn’t want them to think less of me.
Even so, I struggled because I’m a terrible test taker. I would earn a 95 percent on a paper but a B on the exam. I felt embarrassed by the disparity, yet telling others the truth about my inability to recall information on tests would’ve meant telling them about my ADHD.
Stepping out of the shadows
I was terrified to reveal my ADHD. I eventually became comfortable with it, but this didn’t happen overnight.
The process began when I discovered that a few friends also have ADHD. Even though their ADHD symptoms are a little different than mine, I still found comfort in the fact that I wasn’t alone.
I also learned about successful people with ADHD: Michael Phelps, Ty Pennington, Howie Mandel, Justin Timberlake, Channing Tatum, and will.i.am., to name a few. Some of them even seem to benefit from their ADHD. Think of all the weird stunts Howie pulls on America’s Got Talent. This made me realize ADHD can help us stand out from the crowd — in a good way!
And you know what? People were going to figure out the truth about my ADHD eventually anyway. I could either wait for them to find out or mention it upfront and see who was willing to accept me for who I was. Most people weren’t nearly as judgemental as I’d feared. My friends don’t view me as mentally ill or disabled. They see my joy-loving, creative, spunky, daydreaming, spontaneous self. Some of my ADHD traits have probably even helped make me who I am.
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Finding my ADHD superpower
Despite its challenges, I feel like ADHD can give us unique abilities non-ADHDers don’t have. For example, people with ADHD get so lost in their own little world, they become society’s dreamers and innovators. Authors, painters, and engineers often find their muse in the depths of daydreams. According to Scientific American, many successful authors display traits commonly associated with ADHD. My best creations — a painting of a gorgeous sunset, a mango cherry yogurt smoothie recipe, even a guitar melody — often surface in the moments I step away from reality.
I channel my restlessness through art: doodling in the margins of my class notebooks, painting in my spare time, and playing in a wind ensemble. Because it keeps my muscles engaged, doodling actually helps me focus during longer classes.
Productivity power
Despite ADHD’s reputation for inattention, some people with the disorder develop a hidden superpower: hyperfocus. Imagine being able to power through five hours of work with no trouble. During hyperfocus, we tune out everything else and focus 100 percent of our energy on a single task.
As a graduate student, I have to write papers for class. Although I sometimes struggle to finish homework, I love writing about subjects I enjoy. I can sit down and write the entire paper in just a few hours. My fingers fly over the keyboard. My non-ADHD friends, on the other hand, need more frequent breaks and take longer to write these same papers.
Channeling focus
Hyperfocus has a catch, though. I can only do it with things I’m passionate about: hands-on projects, or papers on a favorite subject. For less-exciting assignments, I find myself completely distracted. I struggle especially hard with studying for tests, writing footnotes for papers, and anything else that doesn’t engage my creativity. Therefore, I’ve had to develop strategies to make sure that work gets done.
I’ve become much more productive by learning what time of day works best for me to do different kinds of assignments. I often complete my least-favorite tasks early in the morning, when I focus best, and my favorites later in the day, when I have less energy.
I also get distracted thinking about other things I need to accomplish, or by new email notifications. When I’m working on assignments, I make a to-do list, then turn my phone and notifications off to prevent distraction.
Beyond school, I keep very busy to avoid feeling understimulated. I juggle two jobs, a wind ensemble, and volunteering for my church. People ask me how I manage everything. I attribute my on-the-go attitude to my ADHD –– and I own it. Not everyone with ADHD manages their time as well as I do, but phone apps, weekly schedules, and a print or electronic calendar can help a lot.
A need for variety (finding the right job)
People with ADHD rarely stick to one routine for too long –– we need to change things up or we’ll become bored and unable to focus.
As a result, people with ADHD often thrive in workplaces with a lot going on. For instance, I work at a cafe and switch frequently between the grill, espresso bar, cash register, and cleaning counters. I’m usually tackling several orders at once. Some of my coworkers find it difficult to manage all these responsibilities, yet it comes easily for me.
If at first you don’t succeed…
Even though I usually thrive at my cafe job, working during morning or late-night rushes throws me off. I can’t focus on 10-plus grill orders all at once, and I get flustered. When that happens, my coworkers and I split up the responsibilities. I usually take the drinks bar (which is easiest for me because it’s my favorite area) while my coworkers take the grill and register.
I also forget what my manager tells me almost immediately, so I have to make lists. I was irritated at first when my manager requested that I write things down. It made me feel like a child. Then I realized how much it helped. I no longer felt anxious about what I may have forgotten.
To be honest, I almost quit that job twice. I got discouraged because I couldn’t handle busier times without becoming frustrated. I felt like a burden because I would accidentally put cheese on an order that clearly said “no cheese.” However, my manager now compliments my hard work and has assured me that work really does pay off.
Own your ADHD
Yes, my ADHD is frustrating. My manager at work bugs me to make lists for everything I need to accomplish that day, and I hate it. My professors look at me weird in class because I’m always shifting in my seat. I sometimes forget about my doctors appointments. But I’ve also created beautiful paintings, maintained A’s in my classes, and excelled at many other things.
As you can see, ADHD isn’t all about what you can’t do. If you think about your strengths as well as your weaknesses, you’ll be able to impress the world with what you can do.
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